How to Win Customers and Influence People - Part 3: Smiles, Listening, and Making People Feel Important

Introduction: The Human Side of Business

Ask yourself this: when you see a group photo that you're in, whose face do you look for first? If you said "mine," you're not alone. Dale Carnegie knew it in 1936, and it's still true today: "People are not interested in you. They are interested in themselves - morning, noon and after night."

For micro-SME owners, this is a golden insight. Your customers, your staff, even your suppliers - they're all tuned into the same frequency: "What does this mean for me?"

The good news? By mastering a few simple but powerful behaviours - smiling, listening, and making people feel important - you can build stronger relationships, attract loyal customers, and grow your business.

Why Smiles Matter More Than You Think

Carnegie called a smile your biggest asset. "Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says: I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you."

Think about it:

• When a customer walks into your shop or studio, what's the first thing they notice?
• When someone calls your business, how do you answer the phone?

A warm, genuine smile - whether in person, on a call, or even in an email - sets the tone. It communicates positivity, trust, and enthusiasm before you've even said a word.

And it's not just "soft stuff." Studies show smiling salespeople close more deals, smiling teachers inspire more engagement, and smiling leaders boost team morale. For SMEs, it's free marketing - a smile costs nothing but creates so much.

Don't Feel Like Smiling? Do It Anyway

We've all had those days where smiling feels impossible. Deadlines pile up, customers cancel, cashflow looks shaky. But here's Carnegie's advice: "Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy."

In business, this matters because energy is contagious. If you show up tired, grumpy, or distracted, your customers and staff feel it. If you show up with warmth and optimism even if you have to nudge yourself into it - they feel that too.

So the next time the phone rings, try answering with genuine enthusiasm: "Hello! Great to hear from you!" You'll be surprised how quickly it changes the conversation.

The Lost Art of Listening

Carnegie said it best: "To be interesting, be interested."

Listening intently is one of the highest compliments you can pay another person. Yet in business, many owners are too busy selling to stop and hear what customers are saying.

Here's how to practise real listening:

Give exclusive attention. Put away the phone, stop typing emails, and focus fully.

Ask open questions. "What's been your biggest challenge recently?"

Encourage stories. People love to talk about themselves and those stories contain gold for understanding their needs.

Mirror back. Summarise what they've said to show you've understood.

When you listen, customers often tell you exactly how to win their loyalty.

Case Study: Sam the Coach

Sam runs a coaching business. His challenge? Brand awareness. He needs people to remember him and find him on Google.

When he first started, Sam focused heavily on telling prospects about his qualifications and methods. But what shifted things was when he stopped talking and started listening. By asking potential clients about their personal goals and frustrations, he uncovered that what they wanted most wasn't "coaching." It was confidence, clarity, and momentum.

By reframing his service around those words - the ones his clients used themselves - he started attracting more business. Listening transformed his pitch.

The Deep Craving to Feel Important

Carnegie believed "the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." That means everyone - customers, employees, suppliers - wants to feel that they matter.

For small businesses, making people feel important is often the difference between a one-off sale and lifelong loyalty.

Here's how to do it:

Remember names. Franklin D. Roosevelt built goodwill simply by greeting people by name.

Celebrate milestones. A "Happy anniversary with us!" email or remembering a client's launch date makes them feel valued.

Praise improvements. Even small steps ("That's a great idea," "I can see you've made progress") inspire confidence and repeat engagement.

Give responsibility. Employees feel important when trusted to make decisions, not micromanaged.

When you make others feel important, they naturally associate positive feelings with your business.

Letting People Save Face

One of Carnegie's most practical lessons: "Even if we are right and the other person is wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face."

For SME owners, this plays out daily:

• A client questions your invoice.
• A supplier misses a deadline.
• An employee makes a mistake.

Instead of bluntly pointing out faults, approach diplomatically:

Indirect feedback: "You've done great work here, and one thing we could improve is..."

Admit your own mistakes first: "I've overlooked things before too, but here's how we can fix it."

This protects dignity while still addressing the issue and often strengthens the relationship.

Case Study: Lorraine the Photographer

Lorraine, the freelance photographer, knows that her business lives or dies on referrals. She found that instead of hard-selling her services, she made more progress by showing genuine interest in her clients asking about their families, complimenting their creativity, or remembering small details about past shoots.

Those gestures made her clients feel important. The result? They became repeat customers and referred her to friends.

Peak Season Application: Smiles and Importance at Christmas

During the festive rush, SMEs often feel stressed, overwhelmed, and desperate for sales. But that's exactly when smiling, listening, and showing appreciation matter most.

• A warm greeting in a busy shop reassures frazzled shoppers.
• A personalised thank-you email after an online order turns one-off buyers into repeat customers.
• Listening to seasonal frustrations ("I left it too late, I need it tomorrow!") allows you to frame solutions as saviours, not sales pitches.

At a time when competitors bombard customers with noise, your warmth and attentiveness will stand out.

The ROI of Human Touch

This isn't just feel-good advice. Smiling, listening, and showing importance deliver hard results:

• Customers are 4x more likely to buy again when they feel valued.
• 92% of consumers trust word-of-mouth from friends and family more than advertising.
• Employees are 44% more engaged when they feel recognised.

For SMEs, these stats translate into what matters most: predictable revenue, loyal customers, and a business that feels good to run.

Put People First

At its heart, Carnegie's advice is timeless because it speaks to something universal: people want to feel good about themselves.

When you:

• Smile genuinely,
• Listen intently, and
• Make others feel important

You tap into that universal craving. And for small businesses, that's how you win not just sales, but friends, advocates, customers and a reputation that lasts.

So the next time a customer walks in, the phone rings, or you open an email, remember: this is your chance to smile, listen, and make someone feel important. Do that consistently, and you won't just win friends and influence people you'll win the kind of business stability and growth that SMEs dream of.